Friday, July 11, 2014

ANOTHER MODEST PROPOSAL




It’s arguably safe to say the majority of people reading this are on Facebook.  Recently (recently?), I have noticed a trend towards pessimism, doom and gloom and…well…disagreement there.  More lighthearted individuals have even accused me of fostering this myself, so I gave it some thought and have realized how we can end it. 

Just Be Happy.

It’s so simple.  I am forever indebted to those who pointed out that by maintaining a positive attitude we can cure all ills.  It’s true, you know.  If every person in this world, maybe even this universe, would just Be Happy—we could make it all right.  If everyone was happy, for instance, how could they have wars?  What If We Gave A War And Nobody Came?  How could they come if they were all at the local coffee house, trying out the latest brew?  Or if they were in the garden, watering flowers.  “My flowers are beautiful this year” is ALWAYS appropriate.

And so, taking a line from Jonathan Swift, I would like to make a Modest Proposal.  Everybody Be Happy.  Post nothing but positive, glowing and uplifting ideas on Facebook.  For God’s sake (yes, you can say God, we can’t fight over that any more), be cheerful.  Facebook is a worldwide media and if this catches on, you never know, we might even bring about World Peace and Harmony.

Let me give you some ideas of appropriate material:

Response to birthday posts: "Have a wonderful (and/or blessed, depending upon religious convictions) year!"

Response to death in the family:  "He or she is with the angels now."  Or, if angels are not their thing, wishing peace is usually comforting.  Alternatively, if the post is about a family pet, they are at Rainbow Bridge.  Do not weaken and say they are the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you, because that implies someone will die someday and be with the angels.  Just leave it at, “They’re at the Rainbow Bridge.”

Response to war posts: "It is far away from us and I am going out for coffee."

Response to illness posts: "I am very sorry to hear that, but I know the doctors/shamans/drugs/natural cures/power of prayer will make you better."

Response to There Is A War on Christmas/War on Christians/War on Women:  "It is far away from us and I am going out for coffee."

Response to Political Division:  "If everyone will just smile and shake hands, I’ll go out for coffee."

Whatever you do, do not try to share your experience or knowledge with people because they will take that as negativity.  We are all adults.  They will find their own way.

You get the idea.  Some people may find it too boring to post and do something else, which will impact Facebook.  But think of the time and money they will save not having to censor posts, take down pages and otherwise fight all negativity in the world.  We can help!  Be brave.  Be bright.

I’m going out for coffee now.  And leaving you all a nice flower.  What can it hurt?  :)